Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the greatest doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"

A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers asked the students to learnd one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, "He was bom in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yester¬day we were driving down the highway
and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him,
'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"

Guy: Excuse me, is your name Gillette? Girl: No, Why?
Guy: Because you're the best a man can get!

Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. "This is the longest staircase I've ever climbed", moaned one.
"It certainly is," slurred his body. "And the banister's so low; my back's killing me."

Q: How do you know that a man is about to say something smart? A: It will always start with "she said..."

A lawyer was cross-examining the doc-tor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. "No," the doc¬tor said. "I did not check his pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer. "No I did not," the doctor said. "So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken
steps to make sure he was dead." The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."

Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."

After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Morris mailed off an enthusi¬astic letter of approval to the manufac¬turer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the same company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items... with a "thank you" note from the manufacturer.
"Well, What do you think?" asked his smiling wife, Ruth.
"I think that next time," Morris replied. Tm writing to General Motors."

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a busstop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1.    An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2.    An old friend who once saved your life.
3.    The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, be-cause she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
Never forget "to think outside of the box".