But see thread “Let's tell something funny! For example funny story or an anecdote! “ by Leonardo, dated February 19th, 2009 (page 7)
There are many funny stories and anecdotes in it! I advise you to read them and continue on in order to avoid doubling discussions.
New Russian comes to the Amazonka river and undresses. The native approaches him and says:
“Sir, by no means bathe here! Crocodiles may eat you.”
- Thank you. Where could I bathe on your opinion?
- Downstream, near the ocean.
- And there are no crocodiles there?
- None.
- Why?
- They are afraid of sharks.
Thank you Rod,
I’ll probably celebrate this date anyway, for my wife returns home after refreshment courses. So, this is double holiday for me! As I am English learner, I like the tradition of English-speaking nations. So, I shall celebrate these Christmas two times: on December, 25, 2009 and on January, 07, 2010! I have wine enough to be merry and cheerful all these days!
Have Merry Christmas too, dear friend Rod! Have Merry Christmas all my friends of this forum! And have Merry Christmas all the members of our young community!
How do you like this:
"Each of us should make a contribution in the family budget, the wife says to her husband. Let's say it like this, okay, you'll quit drinking, and I'll break your smoking habit."
A man was in his yard mowing the grass when his blonde neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid new computer keeps saying, "You've Got Mail."
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"
Why not? If I was offered the opportunity, I'd probably would like to be a fashin model... in spite of my age. I've preserved my proper fitness and my grey hair only shows my mature age. So, remember me please, if I'll be fired.
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you`ll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that`s amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I`ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."
I am not planning the great travels this summer. The matter is that I live in the resort area and I have a good rest in my place. I have an inflatable boat for fishing in the summer. There are nice beaches in our outskirts. We use to make overnight stay in the tent on a seashore or in the garden, and I cannot say what place of them is better.
Once I saw The All Fools Day (1-st of April) in Odessa. It was really merry and funny day. I can't describe all the jokes that have place there. This is annual holiday and all the citizens celebrate this day like a festival.
Text by Yuri Levitansky
Music by Eduard Kolmanovsky
- What’s going on in the world?
- Simply winter has come.
- Do you suggest it is winter?
- It is. I am sure.
I, as you know, am leaving my careful spoor
I, as you know, am leaving my careful spoor
Towards your home, which fell early asleep, dear chum.
- What will be next, do you know?
- The winter will last.
- Do you suppose it will really last?
- It is doubtless.
I have been reading this book of the snow for long years,
I have been reading this book of the snow for long years
– A book of the blizzard with pictures we read in the past.
- What will be end of it, tell me?
- April will go.
- April will go, don't you think?
- Yes, I do. I am sure!
I heard already…
- And have you convinced it is true?
- I heard already, and I am convinced it is true
As a reed pipe rang today in the awakening grove.
- What does result from this, then?
- Then, it should be to dwell,
Sew the summery frocks and the calico ware.
- Do you believe we will really put on this wear,
Do you believe we will really put on this wear?
- I do believe you should sew sundresses as well.
Sew, for no matter how long the winter will fan,
Winter’s confinement and misery are very rapid
Christmas is coming, I hear the steps on the threshold,
Christmas is coming, I hear the steps on the threshold,
So, for the dance, madam, let me propose my hand!
The moon seems a silver balloon with the fiery glance.
Carnival masks whirl around moving faster and faster
- The waltz is beginning!
- Please let me invite you to dance.
The waltz is beginning; please let me invite you to dance!
One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three
One-two-three, one….
What nice neologisms Mayakovsky has created! I cannot find their English equivalents… But I like them! He was a real proletarian poet. When I studied at school, I had good marks for knowledge of Mayakovsky’s oeuvre…
Well, Exion, if you answer ‘No’, I’ll tell you why I was asking.
I know some story; it is funny and begins just like your one. But I think you were cunning, having answering my question. Now I restrain from telling, for I am afraid your discussion will be soon ended.
Let me ask one question more: was that herring too salty?
(I suppose you feel I know answer, for my questions are leading, aren’t they?)
Haha! Great anecdote indeed. Thank you Capricorn.
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"
Russian
But see thread “Let's tell something funny! For example funny story or an anecdote! “ by Leonardo, dated February 19th, 2009 (page 7)
There are many funny stories and anecdotes in it! I advise you to read them and continue on in order to avoid doubling discussions.
“Sir, by no means bathe here! Crocodiles may eat you.”
- Thank you. Where could I bathe on your opinion?
- Downstream, near the ocean.
- And there are no crocodiles there?
- None.
- Why?
- They are afraid of sharks.
I’ll probably celebrate this date anyway, for my wife returns home after refreshment courses. So, this is double holiday for me! As I am English learner, I like the tradition of English-speaking nations. So, I shall celebrate these Christmas two times: on December, 25, 2009 and on January, 07, 2010! I have wine enough to be merry and cheerful all these days!
Have Merry Christmas too, dear friend Rod! Have Merry Christmas all my friends of this forum! And have Merry Christmas all the members of our young community!
"Each of us should make a contribution in the family budget, the wife says to her husband. Let's say it like this, okay, you'll quit drinking, and I'll break your smoking habit."
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid new computer keeps saying, "You've Got Mail."
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"
:)) You are still very young, little_baby, and you have nothing to regret at!
morebetter - bestSadly, I didn't watch this film.
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you`ll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that`s amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I`ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."
Dialog by a New Year tree
Text by Yuri Levitansky
Music by Eduard Kolmanovsky
- What’s going on in the world?
- Simply winter has come.
- Do you suggest it is winter?
- It is. I am sure.
I, as you know, am leaving my careful spoor
I, as you know, am leaving my careful spoor
Towards your home, which fell early asleep, dear chum.
- What will be next, do you know?
- The winter will last.
- Do you suppose it will really last?
- It is doubtless.
I have been reading this book of the snow for long years,
I have been reading this book of the snow for long years
– A book of the blizzard with pictures we read in the past.
- What will be end of it, tell me?
- April will go.
- April will go, don't you think?
- Yes, I do. I am sure!
I heard already…
- And have you convinced it is true?
- I heard already, and I am convinced it is true
As a reed pipe rang today in the awakening grove.
- What does result from this, then?
- Then, it should be to dwell,
Sew the summery frocks and the calico ware.
- Do you believe we will really put on this wear,
Do you believe we will really put on this wear?
- I do believe you should sew sundresses as well.
Sew, for no matter how long the winter will fan,
Winter’s confinement and misery are very rapid
Christmas is coming, I hear the steps on the threshold,
Christmas is coming, I hear the steps on the threshold,
So, for the dance, madam, let me propose my hand!
The moon seems a silver balloon with the fiery glance.
Carnival masks whirl around moving faster and faster
- The waltz is beginning!
- Please let me invite you to dance.
The waltz is beginning; please let me invite you to dance!
One-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three
One-two-three, one….
Translated by Poseidon,
December, 20, 2009
I know some story; it is funny and begins just like your one. But I think you were cunning, having answering my question. Now I restrain from telling, for I am afraid your discussion will be soon ended.
Let me ask one question more:
was that herring too salty?
(I suppose you feel I know answer, for my questions are leading, aren’t they?)
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"