Traditions

A man and a woman got married, and he told her : " since you are my wife you should respect my traditions and habits...and i have 3 traditions. So, first tradition: on wednesdays i play football with my friends...no matter what..whether it snows or it rains...i dont care..i play football!!
-Is it clear for you?, -husband asks his wife
-yes sure, she answers
So, the second tradition...on fridays i play poker with my friends, no mater what, i play poker!!
-is it clear for you? - he asks
- yes, sure, - she answers.
The third tradition...on sundays i go fishing, no matter what, i go fishing...whether it snows or it rains...i go fishing!!!
- Is it clear for you? - he asks
- yes, sure, she answers.
-Any objections? -he asks
-no, i understand, - his wife answers.
- Maybe you have your own traditions ?- he asks.
She thought for a while and said: "well, i have, but only one...every night at 10 p.m. i have sex...whether i have my husband beside me, or i dont have ...i dont care..i have sex!!!!

A young couple gets married, and the groom...

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees.
After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000.
She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer."
She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad. But what about the $6,000? He explains "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold 'em!"

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man...

In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."